Quiz! What kind of winter camper are you?
It's that time of year again! To separate the men from the boys, the women from the girls, the wheat from the chaff...OK, that's enough clichés. We're of course talking about winter camping – taking off in a cosy campervan along the coast, staying in a heated yurt in the middle of a forest, or booking into a campsite near a winter market or festival – it's all good.
But it has to be said that, just like camping in general, winter campers and caravanners fall into different categories. There's the reluctant type, dragged along by the other half or realising once they get to a basic campsite with no electric hook-up that getting back to nature in the middle of December is maybe not the best habitat for this particular creature. And there's the enthusiastic type on the other end of the scale, who makes a point of camping miles away from anywhere without mobile reception. Yes, we know we're buying into the scurrilous myths and old chestnuts about camping , but so what, it’s Monday. Take the Pitchup.com quiz to find out what type of winter camper you are.
1. What type of campsite will you be looking for?
A – One with everything. Wifi , electric hook-up (naturally), cosy warm lodges , bar and restaurant on site, and not too far from a town or city where you can get in some weekend shopping. But mostly somewhere warm, with decent showers and where you can plug in your hair straighteners.
B – You don't care – the main thing is to get away. Yurts, tents , caravans , it's all the same to you, as long as you can make a campfire somewhere and toast marshmallows.
C – You'll only look for a campsite in extreme circumstances, like if all your fuel runs out and you have to stagger to the nearest caravan park on feet you can no longer feel. But that'll never happen, because you'll Be Prepared.
D – One that's comfortable. And with electric. And proper hot showers, none of this trickly tepid nonsense. And a bath . And warm. You're not forking out good money to freeze your feet off.
2. What will you take with you?
A – Everything you need for a weekend away, anywhere. All your toiletries and cosmetics, plenty of different outfits in case it rains or there's a good restaurant or club nearby, several books, your iPod and a laptop with plenty of DVDs. And an umbrella.
B – You're not sure. Your rucksack from the last camping trip to Glastonbury is still mostly packed, though you're not sure where it is. And if it has mildew or not. You'll figure something out.
C – A tent, sleeping bag, stove and fuel, waterproofs, change of clothes and extra socks, a torch, two hats, freeze-dried food packets, a water bottle and plenty of chocolate and nuts for quick energy hits.
D – Everything you can get away with. You're driving, so that entitles you to at least two-thirds of the car boot. Half your wardrobe so you'll be warm enough, a portable DVD player and as many films as you think you'll get through in a weekend. Which is a lot.
3. What type of accommodation will you stay in?
A – A yurt. Or a lodge. Or a wigwam . It has to be warm, not leak and have a bit of style for the Facebook pics.
B – Whatever the campsite you pick has. It's a British campsite, how cold can it get?
C – A tent. Your own tent, that you've had since 1998 and patched up several times. She's called Betsy.
D – You don't have much choice in the matter, but are making your feelings felt that it has to be somewhere good. If your family must go on holiday in winter you can't see why it can't be to a nice chain hotel instead, with a chocolate on your pillow and everything.
4. W here will you eat?
A – In the bar or restaurant on site, the local pub if there's a proper menu, or one of the good restaurants in the local town. You're certainly not doing any cooking, you're on holiday.
B – Beside the campfire of course. Where else is there? Does this campsite have a food shop ?
C – Outside your tent, straight out of the pot, wrapped in your sleeping bag and with some whiskey in a hip flask to wash it all down with.
D – If you tell me I have to eat half-raw sausages charred over a ruddy campfire I'm going home.
5. What will be the best part of your trip?
A – Watching people try and put tents up in the wind while you sit smugly beside your wood-burning stove. Not snobbish, just sensible, dahling.
B – All of it. Cooking over the fire, meeting other people, getting away from your boss, snuggling into your sleeping bag...If you can find your camping gear, that is.
C – Getting away from it all. Who needs a heated camping pod when you can be on your own on the top of a hill?
D – Going home.
Mostly As – Snow Queen: You don't see why camping in winter has to compromise on style, glossy hair or designer wellies. You bring the same stuff you would on any weekend away and you've perfected a death glare for anyone who laughs at your wearing full make-up and/or hair gel over breakfast.
Mostly Bs – Fire Fiend: You're enthusiastic about winter camping. Very enthusiastic. Anywhere is fine as long as you can build a big fire and think of hardy tales to tell in the office on Monday. But don't let your keenness override safety – it's winter so you'll need to put a bit more thought into packing than when you were at Glasto. At least bring a hat.
Mostly Cs – Ice Champ. Camping in winter is just the same as camping in summer to you, but with extra clothes. You're a proud wild camper, have all of Ray Mears on DVD, and pride yourself on being able to make a fire in any conditions. You could even skin a camel and climb inside it if there were any on the Yorkshire Dales.
Mostly Ds – Foggy Fusser: You're not a winter camper. You're barely even a camper. You can just about be persuaded to go to a luxury campsite in the warmer months, but consider it the height of madness to leave your house from September to May. You've been dragged along by the other half and you'll damn well make it clear all weekend that you'd rather be at home watching Midsomer Murders. Bah.
Whatever type of winter camper, glamper or caravanner you are, you'll find something on Pitchup.com to suit. Have a look at our sites that are open all year , and use the filters on the left to design your winter camping trip however you like. Even a Foggy Fusser should find something, we think…